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Last Night in Tennessee (865)

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His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...

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(865): His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation... http://tfl.nu/uas5

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I take back everything I said about communal showers

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(865): I take back everything I said about communal showers http://tfl.nu/iybg

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I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

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(865): I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth http://tfl.nu/mdm2

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Actions speak louder than pants.

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(865): Actions speak louder than pants. http://tfl.nu/3ga3

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I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...

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Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again

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(865): I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out... (615): Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again http://tfl.nu/gvsb

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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears

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(865): He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears http://tfl.nu/nyec

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I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.

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(865): I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this. http://tfl.nu/mix4

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I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.

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(865): I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is. http://tfl.nu/unb6

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Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?

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(865): Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store? http://tfl.nu/4sw9

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Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class

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(865): Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class http://tfl.nu/k0s2

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Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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(865): Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/7i54

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Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

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(865): Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all. http://tfl.nu/2gc2

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Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

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(865): Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010. http://tfl.nu/w6c7

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I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes

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(865): I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes http://tfl.nu/sup4

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i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat

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(865): i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat http://tfl.nu/yw7h

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Last Night in Tennessee (865)

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