Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (512)

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  I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...

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  (512): I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night... http://tfl.nu/5pml
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  You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.

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  (512): You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye. http://tfl.nu/ovu6
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  there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.

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  (512): there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby. http://tfl.nu/h3ux
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  He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.

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  (512): He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club. http://tfl.nu/qxuv
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  the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys

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  (512): the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys http://tfl.nu/w106
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  i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving

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  (512): i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving http://tfl.nu/xstl
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  and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through

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  (512): and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through http://tfl.nu/6tx9
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  He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.

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  (512): He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests. http://tfl.nu/eem8
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  He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.

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  (512): He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone. http://tfl.nu/7h78
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  Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...

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  (512): Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not... http://tfl.nu/1rqn
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  apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.

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  (512): apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/xowh
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  I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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  (512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p
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  Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.

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  (512): Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food. http://tfl.nu/f716
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  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
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  You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."

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  (512): You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you." http://tfl.nu/7ipp
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