Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (352)

Last Night in Florida (352)

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Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.

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(352): Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot. http://tfl.nu/hytm

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Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.

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(352): Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa. http://tfl.nu/e1sr

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Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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(352): Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person. http://tfl.nu/l0db

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Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.

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And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.

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(352): Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye. (352): And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave. http://tfl.nu/f5gq

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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"

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(352): She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?" http://tfl.nu/uzh1

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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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(352): we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark. http://tfl.nu/009s

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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

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Just realized these events may be related.

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(352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd

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He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

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(352): He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number. http://tfl.nu/0dku

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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

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(352): she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property. http://tfl.nu/vsw9

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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

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What?

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Just dont open the beer drawer.

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(352): Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge. (1-352): What? (352): Just dont open the beer drawer. http://tfl.nu/02la

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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

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(352): I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way. http://tfl.nu/qonl

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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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(352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb

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Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.

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(352): Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover. http://tfl.nu/82ke

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I used to practice getting hit by cars.

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(352): I used to practice getting hit by cars. http://tfl.nu/t3x2

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homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...

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so you did it...

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obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.

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(352): homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview... (1-352): so you did it... (352): obv...but still...it was inconsiderate. http://tfl.nu/j7x7

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Last Night in Florida (352)

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