Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.

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(325): she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it. http://tfl.nu/ygfd

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper

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(612): i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper http://tfl.nu/3dw5

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(571): View more from Virginia

final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself

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(571): final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself http://tfl.nu/96ze

Replies (70) Good night (6116) Bad night (462)
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(914): View more from New York

how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes

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(914): how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes http://tfl.nu/ebav

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(702): View more from Nevada

I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.

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(702): I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet. http://tfl.nu/4zwd

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(518): View more from New York

i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.

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(518): i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage. http://tfl.nu/gxvx

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(773): View more from Illinois

Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

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(773): Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes. http://tfl.nu/41f8

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(214): View more from Texas

I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.

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(214): I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off. http://tfl.nu/qpy6

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

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(202): We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible. http://tfl.nu/l361

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(801): View more from Utah

Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.

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(801): Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room. http://tfl.nu/l3xg

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off

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(570): A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off http://tfl.nu/1xmy

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(708): View more from Illinois

blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes

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(708): blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes http://tfl.nu/vynn

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(289): View more from Ontario

I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.

(647): View more from Ontario

It's sore actually

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(289): I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt. (647): It's sore actually http://tfl.nu/hwsg

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(256): View more from Alabama

Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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(256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade. http://tfl.nu/llb7

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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(413): then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man. http://tfl.nu/6mq0

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